Last Day Reflection

Sometimes live gives you just the nudge you need.  Several months ago I was sitting at the kitchen table with my parents.  My father has been showing true signs of memory loss and yet with such clarity he looks right at me, rather through me, and says, "I've been thinking, why aren't you writing anymore?"  As that was playing and replaying in my mind I discover the Slice of Life March Challenge.  I am sure I didn't really understand it at all, however it meant writing each day, just what my father ordered!

I was ready to jump in but I did not have a blog, I had no idea how to set-up a blog. But I dug in with the help of dedicated friends. Not only did these friends help me set-up, they also checked in and left encouraging comments along the way.  Thank you dear friends.

Through this I have learned a lot about myself as a writer. I remembered writing isn’t easy. I have discovered that narrative is kind of tricky for me. I feel all telly and preachy, not storyteller like at all. Also, writing takes time; I learned this lesson long ago, when I took a class with the now late Virginia Hamilton  author of so many eloquent novels for children. She once wrote on one of my rushed papers – “give your writing the time it deserves.” Those words both stung and encouraged. They stung because they were so true – I had indeed rushed the piece. (I rushed plenty of pieces this month too.  Some lessons are hard to learn!)  But her words also encouraged as I realized that my writing did indeed deserve time. Everyone’s writing does. I think that those participating in this challenge are thinking just that as they interact with kids.  Kids deserve the time to write and all the nourishing of writing that goes with that time. I have now asked myself, why if I think that all kids deserve the time to write and I believe that we all do, then why had I let my writing go? Many believe that if you do something for 21 days it becomes a habit. I think the habit is not as important as the need and the desire. I am counting on my need and desire to push me forward to continue writing.

I have learned to love falling asleep with my laptop!

I learned that I should have listened to my friend when she said write several slices during the early part of the month so that you are ready on the hard writing days…

There is real joy of spending time reading others' slices.
As one friend said the community holds you up and gives you the strength to write again. I feel like I have made new friends just from the glimpses into their life.
Like so many have said, participating in this makes you so aware of stories everywhere. You are keenly listening and looking. I think I’ll be better at capturing lists of ideas and thoughts because of this month. Just as in conversations, one story slice leads to another, whether it is a story from another participant or from one of my own.

I have a need to say thank you to Ruth and Stacey for their time in hosting this event. Only teachers with such passion for writing would do this for so many of us. Sincerely, thank you. Also, thank you to all of you for writing. I have loved reading your slices, getting a glimpse into your live, your classroom. Thank you SOL for bringing me even closer to people I already adore. Thank you to my friends who held my hand and gently taught and retaught me. 

Finally, I think these words from Little Bee describe the story telling we have experienced this month:

...I had started my story it wanted to be finished

We cannot choose where to start and stop. Our stories are the tellers of us.

Lessons in Scaffolding

 Day 30 SOL

Being trained in Reading Recovery I have heard the word scaffolding countless times. Part of the beauty of the program is how scaffolding is built into all of the procedures. Of course I believe in scaffolding students and my own learning. Who wouldn’t want to be on the cutting edge of their own personal learning? Lucky for me one student has been teaching me big lessons in scaffolding and trust.

From the first time I started reading with him in a small group I knew that together we were setting out on a challenge, not because of ability rather I suspected from mindset. His overused phrase, “I can’t.” His most overused word, “No!” 

Once my reading coach, who is also my teacher leader, came to observe the small group he was somewhat a part of. He stood at the doorway, not sure he was going to participate. After inviting him in once, we both ignored him and went on with the lesson; he eased his way in and really wanted to be a part of the group but on his own terms. Hey, who among us doesn’t prefer things on our own terms? At the end of the lesson she looked at me and said, “Reading Recovery?” We both knew at that point that he would be better served one on one.

Now I should be clear, this little guy is really used to things on his own terms. Once in a conference with his dad, all of his teachers, and the principal, he refused to follow any direction or request. He clearly illustrated in the conference why the teachers were worried and yes, let’s be honest, frustrated. It is frustrating to see capability that is not being used. He was often choosing not to participate in class.  Was it fear, was it a language barrier, was it simply a behavior issue or was he really not equipped to participate?  The truth is, the why didn't matter as much as the how we were going to turn it around.  

There is pressure in RR to accelerate students, that is the goal. I was nervous as he entered into RR but totally endeared to him and looking forward to the challenge of getting into his mind and trying to figure out what was holding him back.

At first, true to RR, our lessons only revolved around what he knew. We built on this quickly and made his known solid and obvious to him.  We wrote about sharks every day. Writing is his least favorite thing, but talking about sharks is his favorite. I read shark books to him and we found some that he could read independently. He then wrote his own shark book. Small steps.

As he moved into lessons his teacher and I started to see a slight change.  Small steps.
And these steps of progress have continued.
We have gone from sharing the reading of the new book, to him taking total charge.  Bigger steps.  

We have gone from him refusing to write, to him writing two sentences. Small steps.  We have gone from him saying "no" to the running record book to him understanding that it is part of his lesson. Must have step! Yesterday he read to the Kindergarten class! Exciting step.  Today he read to HIS class.  Even more exciting step!

He is still in charge of picking his new book. Believe me if I don’t let him choose there will be no reading!  He has to have ownership.  

Goodbye routines, hello what is best for this child. Hello teacher willing to compromise and learn to patiently build.  Yes, he has taught me, step by step.  

Thinking about TEAM

Everyone Needs a Team?...

I have never been on an official sports team, that’s right never I was always one of the last kids picked when choosing sides for yard games, or sides in gym class and that was okay because to be honest no one wanted to play less than me.

But I am finding more and more that there is so much power in being on a team and cheering on a team.
There is something about having a team you can believe in, someone to root for. There is a sense of belonging and a sense of pride.  Those of you who have been rooting on the poets in Ed DeCaria's Madness! 2012 know this to be true. While I usually referred to my classes as family, the classroom community feels like a team and being a part of a group of teachers is a lifeline kind of team. In a broader sense our school staff is a team.

Last year when someone from our Central Office asked me how things were going at school I said I felt like a cheerleader.   I really felt foolish for saying that but then I started reflecting.  Often times at school I do feel like a cheerleader. So much of what we do is encourage and help kids develop skills so that they have the confidence that leads to their success. It is the nudge and nurture factors. I see teachers doing just that all day long.  Don't you love and treasure those quick encounters with children, in the hall, at the lunch table, etc. when you get to ask them about that special book they are reading or a piece of writing that they are crafting; the kind of encounter that is honoring and honest, lets them know that you have time to think about them and what they care about.  

I think being a part of SOL has given me even more reason to think about being on a team.  Thank you for gathering together, writing, sharing and as a team cheering one another on.    

Empty Nesting

SOL   Day 28
My husband and I admit it, we wrapped our lives around our daughters' lives and yet we have never regretted that.  We planned so that we could be home with our girls or nearby when they were out and about.  We were happy, yes sometimes weary, to be the drivers for car pooling to the mall, movies, games, dances, etc. And we were always an open door home, where kids came and went, were fed and welcomed.  I am sure that there are plenty of books out there that instruct nurturing the husband/wife relationship more carefully or tell you to find time for dating.  I am not saying that we did it right, I am just saying we did what worked and came naturally for us.

When our oldest daughter was a senior in high school we knew the truth, she would be moving out soon and our youngest wouldn't be far behind.  Then what?  So while our daughter was filling out college applications we were beginning to fill in the blanks to now what?

The now what? has been unfolding during this entire school year as my first school work day just happened to be the college move in day for our youngest.  Neither girl is too far away, but then again they aren't here.  My husband and I have each had our turn at sentimental tears and questioning where time has gone.  But that has made us more sensitive to one another.  So the empty nesting dance began and we are taking it step by step.  Like any true dance the rhythm is falling into place naturally. We are finding the beat and the pace.

It turns out that building our family together was nurturing our relationship all along.

Noticing Literacy Moments

Day 27 SOL
Today was a fabulous day to just have a few peeks into human interactions with words and the power of words that touch your heart and bring us closer together.

I started my day with a teacher in my doorway so excited to share a book title with me. Wow, what a perfect morning greeting!

Before school started we had an optional meeting. The focus was on building relationships through reading. We were asked to bring a book or two that means something to you or your students. As so often happens, it seemed that the agenda was dual purposed as once we started talking about our books the relationships between us strengthened. There were so many cross-connections as people shared, as one teacher talked about a book, memories, ideas and thoughts were shared that wrapped us closer to the books and closer to one another. We talked about past classes, our own children, the power of read aloud and how books give us common language.

The next interaction I observed was a new student walking into a first grade classroom. The girl was of Chinese decent and the teacher had no idea if this student was new to the United States or not. As the child slowly advanced into the room to meet her teacher, the teacher extended her hand and said ni3 hao3 (pronounced knee how) and the child said hi! It was precious. The child with her anxious eyes seemed to quickly relax and smile, she saw the humor and felt the welcome.

Mid-day, in a fifth grade classroom one student who is ready to dig into a great book, he looks at me desperately from across the room, he shrugs his shoulders, he needs a book. I had lent a book to a teacher and I told him that it just might be the type of book he was looking for. Don’t be afraid I tell him; just go ask for the book. He left the room and returned with book in hand. I sat down next to him and introduced the book. Tried to pull him in with some of the humor of the book. I could not tell if he bought into the idea of reading this book or not. Just as I was leaving the room I observe him calling over a friend and sharing the sentences that I had pointed out and both boys are cracking up! I can’t wait to see what he thinks of the book – tomorrow will tell.

Later in the day, several emails fly through our building as we rejoice in our resident poet, Mary Lee's, next work.  We rally around her gift for words and are excited to read all the poetry written for kids.

All day, all around me, there are literacy moments to take in and celebrate.

Spring Break Reading

SOL Day 26

Spring break was outstanding, time spent with family, friends and great books. This year at the pool I noticed that my mom and aunt were reading a lot as well. Our friend who shared the trip with us read throughout our time together. Being surrounded by a reading community meant that it was okay to open your book at any time and get lost without feeling that you were unsocial, actually quite the opposite as we talked about our reading frequently.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I purchased Wonder and The One and Only Ivan for the trip. Neither of these books disappointed. When I first started Ivan I wondered how a book told by a Gorilla would grab me. Well it grabbed and never let go! I love Katherine Applegate’s books in this prose-type style. Amazing.

I cried so many times while reading Wonder that my husband said, “I don’t know if I should say sorry honey or I am glad you love your book!” This made me giggle and wipe my tears. How is it that YA books always touch so very deeply? I fell in love with the characters and was surprised when the chapters alternated narrators. I was not expecting this format but thought it was powerful.

I also finished Out of My Head. After listening to Sharon Draper at the Dublin Literacy Conference, many teachers on our staff are reading this book and will come together for a book talk. What a range of emotions I felt reading this one. And it was particularly interesting to read it right after Wonder. Actually, all three of these books teach us about compassion and celebrate what we can learn from one another and our unique gifts.

Finally, for the car ride I started Breadcrumbs. I have about 20 pages to go and if laundry and life weren’t calling me I would have this book completed too. I am intrigued whenever an author can weave classics into modern day. Brilliant so far!

There is just magic about books for readers starting in about grade 4, I call it YA but not sure that is the right label. These books just touch a place in my heart. Perhaps it is the honesty, the searching for life answers, the friendships, the struggles, or simply all of that and so much more. Maybe it is that writers who can write for YA are just that gifted and it is a good thing because these young readers deserve the very best. Whatever the reason, by far, these are my favorite books.

For my adult “reading” I listened to the first two Cd's of Little Bee while I was in the driver’s seat. You guessed it, my drive to school and back will be filled with this story.

I returned to school filled with new stories in my head and heart and all day I just wanted to share these books with readers of all ages.

Parking Lot

SOL #24 on March 25th
Posting twice today.
I didn’t get to post this yesterday before leaving Florida heading for Ohio but these images were in my head. The contrasts of arriving and leaving in the parking lot.




Parking Lot
         Arriving

Car turns into
The parking lot
emotions turn in happiness
We have arrived
our familiar place

There they are!
Parents
waving and protecting
our  parking spot


car door
flies open
Deep breath of the
Florida breeze


spring out

to hug and hold my
parents
tears of happiness
in our eyes


Parking lot
            Leaving

Black
yellow lines
painted number
of condo

 we are
leaving

Deep breath
Smell hot tar

Breathe deep
Do not cry
Kiss mom
        Kiss dad
Hug mom
           Hug dad

Return to mom
And hold on so
very
    Tight


she has that look
I know so well
eyes swell

trying
to hold
back tears

Be brave I whisper
        In my head
Soon they will
head north
too


Be brave I whisper
to self

in parking lot

try not
to cry
Next year
    Next year
           Next year
I say as we pull
away